Who knows-maybe Aspergers is the evolution of our species. For me, love and joy and art and music are more important than anything else.If I had parents or other family members or friends I could rely on for love and emotional support in my life, perhaps I could stand this marriage. We have been to 3 different marriage counselors, I have been to counseling alone, and I have read dozens of books (he has read none as the only problem he sees is my dissatisfaction with him!I know he is dependent on me for his social and family life, not to mention finances.I want to continue to have him as a friend, and will continue to help him.For example, instead of admitting they are overwhelmed by noise, tired of being around people, or simply want to go and work on a favored interest, they may lie and say they feel sick or they have an appointment they need to get to. Many males with AS do marry, but unless both partners are willing to work on problem areas, the relationship may not last. Many males with AS fit into the stereotype of “geek.” 15. They can focus on a subject that interests them and talk endlessly about it, but they may not fully understand the give-and-take of a shared conversation. Most males with AS can find employment and are generally reliable workers.However, even if they have the same qualifications as “typical” males, they may not find a job as easily due to a deficit in social skills. Sensory difficulties may mean that the AS man does not like seams in clothing or labels in shirts.
Oh, and I'm the daughter and grand-daughter of Spectrumites too.In some cases, he may have learned about sex through watching porn on the Internet.This can be extremely disconcerting if he tries to act-out similar scenes with his partner/spouse. Social activity may be limited, and the AS man’s wife often forms her own friendships and socializes while her husband stays at home. Some AS males end up living a secluded life style and become known as a “hermit” or a “recluse.” They seem to cope better by being isolated, and feel less anxious than when they are confronted daily by the difficulties of interpersonal relationships. Some AS males prefer to have a confirmed diagnosis, while others would rather carry on with life as they have in the past.They will be passionate about it and often have an extensive collection of related items as well as incredible knowledge on the subject. Although AS males are often highly intelligent, they may have held down a menial job or drifted from job to job for years.This stems from their problems with social skills and communication. An AS man may have a pet (often a dog) that he becomes quite attached to.I have great Spectrum friends and we have fortnightly family get-togethers that are huge fun. We understand each other’s body language; eye-contact is not a problem nor is bluntness and honesty in conversation. I wish I had read it about 15 years ago, before I married my husband in 2000. I am a physician myself who has worked with many children with DD and have also been reading every book I could find on the subject since I realized Aspergers was likely the cause of my husband's odd behaviors.We make allowances for each other's sensory difficulties and can tell if the other is uncomfortable, and why.• Anonymous said… I feel that all my time is spent on how I can make things better for my husband to cope with life. For a long time I thought it was his upbringing --with selfish, distant parents, or me, that he wasn't in love with me, or I was too emotional and needy.Men with AS often have some of the following traits, but they will vary in both number and level of severity from person to person: 1.A special interest (e.g., coin collecting) is common in males with AS, and this may be something they have pursued for years.I have dropped my non-AS 'friends' over the years as I was unable to meet their expectations that I should change to be more like them.They never tried to understand me, yet expected ME to understand THEM!