Though I was excited by these possibilities at first, the resulting dates could best be compared to episodes.
One of my dates somehow managed to steer every discussion, no matter how unrelated, to the topic of cheesecake.
Did you want two bagels stacked with spreads on spreads on spreads," my mom will ask you when you visit.
The correct answer is always "yes" and the correct follow-up question is "This must be your mother's recipe, right?
Meanwhile, more and more of my friends were getting engaged, more and more of them started families, and I had never dated anyone for more than a few weeks. If Jewish women weren’t attracted to me, I’d go find women who were.
This was my ulterior motive when I planned a trip up to New England.
Families are really important to Jewish people, they just are. Even if you never met before you started dating, she probably knows at least two people in your life.
She was also unbendingly ethical, deeply scholarly, and emotionally supportive—virtues I’d always believed essential in a prospective girlfriend or wife. Please know I'm going to bitch my way through anything that's not large and smelly in the best way possible. If you can't handle me at my mild mishegas, you don't deserve me at my best kvelling … All things people typically look for in a partner.12. I feel like I have to end this with a "l'chaim," so … Your scooped-out bread ball with low-fat cream cheese is offensive to me. Consider this your friendly reminder to not call people things if you don't really know what they mean.10. It's in my nature to react to things largely and loudly and with lots of emotion. The whole mitzvah thing becomes ingrained in you, giving you a conscience, integrity, etc., etc. It's this loyalty that makes me an incredible friend and an incredibly solid partner. Another had no discernible personality or strong feelings about anything, leading to a date in which I she responded to everything I had to say with an affectless “yeah” or “uh huh.” But it wasn’t all their fault: I can’t say that I created the most enticing profile.Most of the women the site matched me with wouldn’t risk even a simple online chat with me. It's a result of years of killing it on the bar mitzvah, camp, and college circuits. Worried about your potentially awkward upcoming work dinner? Seriously, there was never a better summer on the planet than Lake Year '07 with my 36 best friends. And if you want to make jokes about how Jews are cheap, (1) I'm going to assume you're kind of an asshat who laughs at all kinds of rude things and (2) you're not the kind of person I want to date anyway.9. She might not want to talk to my mom that much, but if you want to ride with me, you're going to have to. It's called Jewish geography and it's the world's greatest ice breaker. Your camp was probably great and all but it wasn't nearly as great as her camp. There's a big difference between cheap and frugal, bro.Since she wasn’t Jewish, though, a relationship with her didn’t seem possible; I thought of her as simply a good friend. I created an online dating profile on e Harmony, hoping that its mystical personality matching system would somehow do the job that I had proven unable to accomplish on my own.We would chat with each other online virtually every day while I was in college, and even after I graduated. Before long the site gave me a listing of potential Jewish candidates.I was planning to stay with a friend from college for a few days, but I also arranged to meet Alicia, whom I’d known online for five years by that point but had never met in person.When she arrived at my friend’s house, her hair was dyed red and she was dressed in a black suit: very Agent Scully. We went out for Thai food with my friend and his wife.