Dating a widowed woman

No need to fight a ghost If you really like the woman you are dating, you may be tempted to step in her husband’s shoes in order to offer her emotional and practical support.However this would be an unwise thing to do since you will be setting up yourself for constant comparisons to the deceased person. When dating a young widow, especially one who has been recently bereaved, it is better to start as friends and see where it goes from there.Also there may be unexplained fluctuations in moods.A perfectly romantic moment between you two may suddenly be ruined by a memory or an object having past associations.If she tries to do this too quickly, there may be a bottling up of emotions which may eventually become unmanageable and harmful.So if you find that she has suddenly become withdrawn, sad, reclusive, angry, it is likely that she has not grieved completely and the pain of the loss has come back in a much harsher way.

Also use words with care around her, for instance don’t talk of the “baggage” she brings to the relationship.Unlike in case of a breakup, a widow has no reason to put away the memories of what may well have been a loving and fulfilling marriage.Thus she may feel rushed and hurt if you insist on doing away with memories of her past.Again special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries may be particularly difficult times to go through – both for you and your date.Make sure you enter the relationship with a healthy self-esteem or else you may find yourself feeling jealous of the deceased person and impatient with your date to move on.She may find the term insulting and feel that her husband, life story and heartache are cheapened by such terminology.Even when you are invited into her house and life, don’t prompt her to take down the photos of her late husband.If you are not yet ready to enter a relationship, make sure she understands this.A widow is already coping with feelings of sorrow and loss and it would be unfair for her hope where none lies.This means fully feeling and then letting out the emotions of anger, fear and sorrow caused by the loss.This is especially important in case of a young widow who may feel pressured by friends and family to “move on”.

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