parties that I can think about, years later, at mild parties.• Get fit (i.e., get at least one ab before I die).This, I’m told, is easier to achieve when you’re young.• Have more romantic partners. “Other races date for six or seven months, and then they get married. I find, in the black community, a man will date you for 10-15 years and never marry you.
We are socialized into thinking that men are like wine, they get better with time. I inspect my body when I step out of the shower and I can see the skin loosening above my knees. I hereby swear that I will not take an eligible older man out of the dating pool — to do so would be to slap future-me in the face but it would also signal to men my age that it’s O. Time is too precious to donate — so don’t give away 2.3 years of it.I know what you’re thinking: “What’s dating got to do with your weird list?” You’re right, in theory — life doesn’t stop once you settle down, so you could complete your own 2.3-year list regardless of your relationship status.That same Ok Cupid data shows that even when men are in their late 40s, they carry on looking at the profiles of women age 20 to 24 (women, by contrast look at older men’s profiles as they get older).Where do 50-year-old men get this strange impression that they could date a 23-year-old? When New York magazine looked at the careers of 10 leading men, it found that as they aged, their onscreen love interests didn’t. In 1990, he appeared alongside Frances Mc Dormand, who was five years younger than he.I could use that money to go to more parties, get a membership to a fancy gym and maybe even meet a romantic partner on the ab machines.Most men who date women don’t fantasize about what they would do if they had these bonus years, they simply get them.Outraged at these numbers, I send my mom a text outlining my plans to find a much younger man and redress this scourge.She replies, “Women are more mature than men.” I roll my eyes.If there is any truth to her claim, maybe it’s because men know they can settle down at a later age.Where’s the incentive to grow up before you have to? I want to ask prospective partners whether they want to become parents and when — and excuse me? A shrug from a man who already has a couple of gray hairs strikes me as wild arrogance.