“I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, ‘No, I knew this was gonna happen.’ And then I kiss you.
In front of my burning car.” This imaginative profile, courtesy of Tumblr, entertains online daters with an amusing story. What works for one person can be taken too far by another.
Reluctant online dater dont_email_me lives in Texas, and he is very clear about what type of woman he wants: “If I can’t bounce a quarter off your inner thigh, hit the gym, not the ‘send’ button.” Charming.
According to Ok Cupid’s data crunchers, “Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile.” And then there’s his one-sentence About section: “I’m banking on your standards being a lot lower than mine.” Playful, self-deprecating, and original.These side-splitting online profiles can be witty, crazy, or just plain stupid, but at least they’re memorable. A lot of guys paint a picture of their ideal date — dinner, movie, makeout session, etc.But one 22-year-old single took this trope to ridiculous and glorious levels on his dating profile.We may not know much about him as a person, but we know he’s hilarious, and that’s enough to make a striking first impression.Reddit gushed over Taylor’s Ok Cupid profile photo of himself in ladybug shirt (which he made) against a ladybug backdrop. He boasts an 80% response rate to his messages on Ok Cupid. The average reply rates for men hover more in the 30% to 50% range according to Ok Cupid’s internal data.I enjoy [activity] with my friends or watching [popular television show or movie] on my own. Of course, writing a funny and attractive dating profile is no easy task.I’m here to [hedge and say you want to meet new people], and I’d love to [flirtatious invitation].” C’mon, guys, you’re more than the sum of your Netflix queue! To give you some idea of how it’s done — and how it should never ever be done — we’ve compiled the 13 all-time funniest dating profiles out there.Her About section is a little more informative, but not in the way most daters want. Hey, if you have a genuine six-pack (or the ability to photoshop one), Tinder users deserve to know.“A little-known fact is that I cover 40% of Africa,” she wrote. The result is a comical portrayal of himself carrying puppies out of a burning animal shelter. What I enjoy most about Reid in this picture is his look of sincerity.Then she explains in vivid detail what will happen if you don’t answer her texts.“I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o’clock in the morning crying and trying to break in.” Points for honesty?