But most husbands and wives do not know how to unpack such delicate and yet powerful emotions without professional help. Not all friends, family members and counselors are “marriage-friendly.” Many of them can actually hurt you and your marriage in the process, more than help it. I’m all for good counsel, but make sure it’s truly the type of counsel you need.We have several articles posted within the Marriage Counseling & Mentoring Topic that I recommend you read.Eventually my husband also became a victim of my past sexual abuse.I kept pushing him away more and more until I couldn’t be intimate with him at all.
I pleaded with God to either help me stop the nightmares and flashbacks I was experiencing or help me to die. God spoke to me in a way that made Himself real to me.And even though my husband was and is nothing like either of my abusers, somehow I ended up punishing him for the original pain that did not afflict upon me.The memories kept poisoning my mind and our love-making experiences.Yes, Steve understood why I acted as I did (at least he said he did).However, it didn’t erase the fact that he wanted to be close to me, but I couldn’t handle any type of sexual closeness.My past would then be “my past.” But again I was wrong.It’s not that my husband Steve did everything right to help me deal with things properly. Unfortunately, I didn’t handle matters very well at all.It wasn’t until a number of years into our marriage that the Lord started to impress upon me that I had “unfinished business” to work on. That’s when I first started the painful process of praying and reaching out to find the help I needed.I needed to settle what had happened to me and begin the process of healing.He let me know that if I was serious, the road would be tough and it would be long. Yet, even when I was reaching out for help, I never truly thought I would be able to get to the place where I would be completely healthy and whole in dealing with the sexual part of my life and the memories that haunted me for so many years. And yet, I can honestly give testimony that God has helped me to do an amazing work.But He also let me know I would get to the point of healing that I desperately needed, if I was willing to take the tough journey. My past is no longer being dragged around in my life. And my husband and I have an amazing connection in every way in our lives together.