This is especially so if at the time of the spouse's death, both partners shared a profound love. The role of imagery and counterfactual thinking is central in widows.In this case, the survivor's love does not die with the spouse's death. While the deceased spouse ceases to disappoint and irritate us, the living new partner continues to do so; he reminds us of the richness and the difficulties of ongoing living relationships.Thus, romantic breakups are often described as a kind of death.In the words of Dusty Springfield, after such a breakup, "Love seems dead and so unreal, all that's left is loneliness, there's nothing left to feel." Personal relationships without love are also often associated with death.It is true that profound love is less likely to perish, but it can perish nevertheless. But that doesn't mean that it's not love." The important lesson to be drawn from Janine's moving description is that love can be different; looking for the same love with another partner can be devastating, as no two people are identical.Hence, there is no reason to assume that one's heart is not big enough to include several genuine loves in one's life. It is not wrong that your new love is different from the previous one.
Even in one of the darkest periods of history, the Holocaust, people fell in love, despite the risks of expressing it.
And is widowhood the proper time to fall in love again?
The end of love and death For many people, romantic love forms an essential aspect of their lives; without love, life may seem worthless, devoid of meaning.
There's an odd 'divide.' I love both of them, one here and one gone." It seems that we are blessed with a heart that is very flexible and can accommodate various people at the same time. I knew things would be different, because he was not Jim. And so as we became more serious and had deeper feelings for one another, I started to worry. I wasn't feeling that I was falling more in love each day. And [then after talking to another widow] I began to realize that the way I was loving this second time was ‘normal.' And that I had to let go of my expectations. Which position is worse: the widow who knows that her lover cannot come back, or the woman who knows that her ex could come back, but might not wish to do so?
Consider the following sincere description (which appears on the site Widow's Voice) by Janine, a widow, about her feelings toward her new lover. I wasn't feeling that my heart would burst from how much love I had for him. How could this love feel the same as my first love? The pain and sadness is greater on the widow's side, not merely because of the terminal nature of the loss, but also because of the greater romantic intensity.