However, by taking the steps toward coming out, the process of healing begins.
You will then be free to explore the parts of you that have been suppressed for far too long.
The four suggestions below helped me, and I think they'll also help you get past the things which are holding you back from a brighter future.
My first proper relationship ended when I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me with one of my best mates; then afterwards--perhaps to get back at me for breaking up with her--it got back to me that she'd been spreading the (extremely false) rumor that I'd raped her. Combined with some other things that were taking place in my life, the experience plunged me into a crippling and near fatal depression, and my ability to trust another girl was destroyed.
People who have certain self-centred, manipulative and malicious traits are not worthy of your trust.
Here are a few things to consider: Lastly, let's talk about the wife.
Given this, there are many benefits to being out, including finding some inner peace in deciding to be honest with yourself and those you care about.
When I say being 'out', I'm not referring to the stereotypes and generalizations usually associated with being gay, I'm speaking of fully accepting one's same gender loving feelings without hiding or living a lie.
No matter what you do or don't do, someone could get hurt.
Either you go through life denying who you are with the fear of getting caught or being outed, or you hurt your wife.