I processed this and the next day told him that we probably shouldn’t talk or see each other anymore.My rationale was that I was too emotionally caught up and didn’t know when he would have the ‘capacity.’ He was in utter shock!For all I know, he might have committed to his ex-wife and once he did, it was all downhill.For that reason, he might believe (on an emotional level) that if he starts defining commitments that the relationship will go downhill.It still raises the question of how long that will take, but it’s a much different situation than an apathetic guy passively seeing a girl with little effort or interest in the future of the relationship. Try your best to be rational and to avoid jumping to conclusions…Having a title sounds like it would be reassuring, but if you were forced to choose between having an amazing relationship I would say that it would be a good move for you to take a look at what your thoughts are on the matter. I say this because when you mentioned that you proposed leaving the relationship after he didn’t want to call you his girlfriend, it struck me as kind of an extreme, all-or-nothing type of response.
I want to have kids and he knows this (and says this is fine) so this further complicates the situation because I don’t want to waste these years with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to commit at this time.It sounds to me like he wants to have a good relationship – he talks about the future, he introduced you to his family, he treats you like a girlfriend.From what you said, it doesn’t sound like he’s trying to avoid commitment so that he can see other women.But I believe that things can change as time goes on.I can’t guarantee it in your situation specifically, but generally speaking things can work out as long as the guy is working through his issues.I would bet there were assumptions that you made that upset you that very well might not be the case.It is quite possible that if you talked with him calmly and rationally, it would put both of you at ease. it really depends on how easily each of you can have a calm, understanding discussion to let the other one know where you stand.His ex still gives him a hard time, but he says that he has moved on. Last week I bought up the subject and the answer wasn’t what I expected.He told me how great I was and that he loved what we have, but at this time, he didn’t have the capacity to commit to more.It sounds like he’s reluctant because he’s dealing with his own stuff and he wants to make sure that both of you are ready for a relationship.Take it from me, sometimes a guy can really love a woman and not be ready or in a position to have a relationship.