Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. Mc Quillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.They witnessed Lena's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other: "Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without me bloomers on! The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. " Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale...'tis too good to part with.""Well, Mrs. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. " "Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you." "That's an incredible story" said the priest.
I was over at Molly's house, dancin' with the lovely lass, when her father walked in." "An' old Master Callahan is thinkin' that dancin' is an evil thing, cured by a black eye, is that it? The old man's deaf, an' couldn't hear th' music."It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. " "Well, Paddy my lad," said Seamus, "why don't you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back ...
After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to holler ..."Seamus ... that'll block the wind for you." So Paddy took Seamus' advice and turned his jacket from front to back and got back on the bike and the two of them were off down the road again.
After a bit, Seamus turned to talk to Paddy and was horrified to see that Paddy was not there. "Two Irishmen met and one said to the other, "Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?
Why don't you come back at about seven-thirty, and we'll continue where we left off? Yours is big enough that ye need four fingers to hold it."O'Rourke, the barber, was hearing complaints from his present trimmee about the price of barbers' services. You probably held your own in your youth, but when you get to your mid-forties, your body just isn't up to that any more. I was thinkin' perhaps me problem was me masturbatin'."As the years went by, Big Mick Lonegan just couldn't perform the way he used to.
"I tell you, O'Rourke, these New York barbers gotta stranglehold on the citizens. His doctor told him that it was normal for a man's sexual drive to decrease with advancing years, but Big Mick wasn't having any.