I know this election, in particular, has been extremely divisive, but this is not the time to start sharing your opinions on politics or any other possibly fiery topics. We just avoid those topics because we are adults and enjoy our friendship. The woman you’re talking to is a human being, not an object. I know men tend to just say what enters their heads without passing it through a filter.
If you draw out a position that is different from yours right off the bat, you might completely discount the person. It prompts interesting discussions and opens our eyes to multiple sides of an issue, so keep your convo light and fun at the beginning. It can be understandable in person when they get their wires crossed and trip over their tongue. When I am instructing my male clients, I tell them to imagine they are talking to their sister or grandmother at first. The flirting can come later after you’ve had a few emails or calls.
I know you use internet slang and text language to your friends, but this is not your friend.I’m not talking about anonymous trolls — I’m talking about how you represent yourself.Listen, I have no problem if you want to add 1 inch or subtract five pounds. But, if the profiles I read are any indication, EVERYONE seems to be “a world-class traveler who’s happy chilling at home on a Friday or hitting the town, loves to explore ethnic restaurants, and enjoys outside activities like hiking, kayaking, or biking.” And then when you go on a date, they’d rather Netflix and chill, or they enjoy sleeping in on a Saturday and lounging around eating pizza. It’s just that you don’t want to misrepresent yourself.), it’s so nice to be able to have a good base of etiquette and manners.That doesn’t mean I use them all the time, but at least I know what they are.While both men and women do this, I find the ladies do it a bit more.It makes sense as women are usually more communicative than guys. Learn about each other in person instead of scrolling through their posts.“Friends thought I was insane or looking to be murdered,” says a female lawyer.For those who dare, men mostly find “runs girls” (aka sugar babies) looking for rich boyfriends to buy them gifts, or outright prostitutes. “The first time I signed up…I saw three guys I knew who were married,” says Efua Oyofo, who runs the blog Dating While Nigerian.We’re all saying these things because we think that’s what others want to hear, but the more you disguise yourself, the less chance you have of finding someone who’s totally into what you are into.Author Laura Zinn opines, and I agree, “Be exactly who you are, though this means you’ll get rejected.” That is, until the person who loves everything about you comes along!