The problem is that we are losing the habit of expressing this belief. Our inarticulacy will allow the belief to weaken, to fall into disrepair. Today’s liberal-lefties marry apologetically, as if they are slightly letting the side down.
Having polled 200 of its stalwart adulterers, who have been using the site for 11 years, it found that two thirds said that their extramarital adventures had strengthened their marriages.
To marry is to side with a tradition that counteracts the nervy individualism and competitive insecurity of our world, a tradition that plants social virtues in a new generation.
‘To settle down’ is a transitive verb; one is settling the world down a bit, by settling one’s love life; one is countering chaos a bit, enabling space for good culture.
It is to hide something you know to be good under a bushel, so your edgy image stays intact. Square though it sounds, it means questioning whether we should be so tolerant of the entertainment industry’s hedonistic view of sex.
It’s easy enough to criticise crass reality shows and porn; it’s trickier to admit that quality dramas such as are part of the problem (as indeed are most novels about adultery, however highly esteemed as art).