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So, after another evening spent together where he cooked me a three-course meal in his apartment and still hadn’t made a move, I decided the next day to finally declare my feelings for him in a text, (because my little heart just couldn’t handle face-toface rejection).‘Je t’aime bien’ I finally pressed ‘send’ after deliberating for longer than I’d care to admit. Yes, if he’d pulled out my heart with his bare hands I don’t think it would have been more painful than to read those words.What about the rules of letting the man be the one to text you first? You can forget everything you’ve learned when you date a French guy, it’s a level playing field!As well as having to be more decisive about where you want to go on a date, it’s pretty important that a woman does aide the man in doing some of the follow up work after the date.’ Well, of course, in an ideal world I want to answer that question by saying, ‘Let’s do champagne at Le Meurice followed by the Opéra, topped off with a horse and carriage ride that would leave me right at the foot of my door.’ Once my head stops spinning and I’m brought back to the present moment, however, I have once made the regrettable decision of simply answering, ‘Oh, I don’t mind. ’ My date then suggested going for a drink at a bar in Le Marais.This sounded perfect until I Googled the bar and saw it was listed as, ‘Un établissement gay et lesbian’.Oh how different things might have been if I’d known then what I know now… You flirt, perhaps touch each other a little, (or, in my case, he brushed my leg with his foot under the table once, I blush thinking he’s outrageously flirting with me only for him then to apologise for accidentally kicking me.) Anyway, the chemistry is going wild yet he hasn’t made the move and kissed you.I certainly learnt the hard way what you must never say to a French man if you wish to declare your feelings (en francais, parce que c’est plus romantique comme ça…) So, you’re dating. I was once in this position with a man I had feelings for, I was cautiously optimistic that he felt the same way but neither of us was brave enough to admit our feelings.

If they’re attracted to you after date one, they kiss you on date two, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be locked in to being their girlfriend right away.It always came down to playing it cool and not giving too much away.When dating the French, however, it is completely normal for the woman to tell the man when she wants to see him again.But what happens if you find yourself in a stalemate situation where neither of you is making the move to take your relationship to the next stage?You could tell him that he’s great or that he’s nice by saying, ‘Tu es génial’ or ‘Tu es très sympa’, while brushing the hair away from his face… In a totally different situation, if he starts referring to you as his girlfriend after the second date, that’s pretty normal.If the sun is shining, tell him you’d love to take a walk along the Seine.Once he gets to know you better though, make sure you’re not doing all the deciding work.After many dates turning sour or crushes who disappear seamlessly into thin air, I’ve been educated on what to expect when you’re dating native French men. I’d spent my whole life believing it was the man’s decision to say where we should go, what we should do.I’ve been left speechless when I’ve been asked before several of my dates, ‘So, what would you like to do?Once you kiss a French man for the first time, you’re practically declaring exclusivity right off the bat.In other cultures, it may be normal to ‘date around’ when you’re single, see which shoe fits…

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