If you want to feel free of commitment, make sure you're not committed. You can’t figure out if you’re ready to have sex with this new person on your own; you have to discuss your needs with your potential partner in order to be sure you’re on the same page.If you don't want to feel anxious about pregnancy or diseases, make sure you bring and use protection. Otherwise, you’re acting on assumptions, and you could be very off-base.
Personal Space is Bravo's home for all things "relationships," from romance to friendships to family to co-workers. Then Like us on Facebook to stay connected to our daily updates.But what you may not realize is that after all of these experiences, you can trust yourself now more than ever!You've learned what you need to be in place in order to have sex and reflect back positively.Then think about the times you regretted it, or felt shame or guilt.What conditions were there: Were you in a committed relationship? Were you excited that you might get caught doing it? Use your past to identify what supports you in reflecting back with positive feelings. First, identify how you want to feel after you have sex with this new person.It makes sense that as adults, we continue to look externally for guidance—but looking feelings, needs, and values, we are more likely to be happy with our choices.When you learn to turn inward for guidance, you’ll be more likely to make choices you feel good about, and you'll build trust in yourself.You don’t want to complicate a budding relationship.You may have sought guidance from friends, therapists, blogs, scriptures, experts, and sexperts. Part of you wants to have sex just to get it over with, so you can stop worrying about it.Only you can know what you need, and it’s up to to make sure your needs are met.The following exercises will help you turn toward yourself to gain clarity so you can ensure that your needs are met before you have sex with someone new: 1. Think about the times you've had sex and felt good about it.