I hesitate to mention it, not because I don't believe in it, but because it's so easy to distort.
Time after time, I've seen people continue past clear and obvious relational red flags because "God was leading them." God does lead and guide, but praying about it doesn't become a trump card that no one can question.
According to some experts, the solution to this common relationship issue is a little thing called... After all, no matter how you feel about your partner's pals, the fact remains that these bozos are a part of your life. “The worst thing you can do is try to get [your partner] to see his friends for what they are, which forces him to go to their defense -- and his own defense for liking them,” says Hartman. "To insult a partner's friends is to insult your partner," she says. "A healthy, evolved person chooses friends that inspire, support and share the same values on some level," she notes.
You'll have to mingle with them sometimes (yes, even the ones who are more hideously annoying than fingernails on chalkboard, like the two types described above). Your first step in this case, according to Hartman? That said, you can express your dislike of your parther's friends' behaviors, and explain why you feel that way. “By refusing to socialize, you force your partner to choose,” notes clinical psychologist, Joseph Burgo, Ph. "Calling someone’s friends 'idiots' is a direct criticism of the person who has those friendships." Her advice? Try to understand what it is about these friendships that your partner enjoys -- it just might help you shift your "idiot" perspective. If you feel that's the case, "it's hard not to take this personally, particularly if you’re introverted or come from an upbringing where you weren't 'seen' or appreciated," says Brosh.
It would be easy to let potential disappointment from a fiancée, a parent, or the loss of a reception hall down payment keep you from doing what you know you need to do.
Instead, let's rephrase it: You don't feel comfortable around them -- and that's more workable. You can certainly hint to your partner that he/she incorporate you into conversations on more recent events, so you can participate. “Try to start conversations on general topics or current events -- subjects everyone can discuss,” Burgo suggests. I've tried absolutely everything, and we just don’t click.
If that confidence is not there, it might be the wisest choice you ever make to delay the wedding date or end the relationship.
Pray for God's wisdom and direction in your relationship.
Journal, identify your losses, and don't try to meet someone else too quickly.
Some of you might be on the doorstep of marriage — a month, a week, or even a day away from that lifetime promise.